Like everyone you know on the internet (and perhaps otherwise), I have started a bullet journal. I’ve tried it before, to no avail. I have notoriously little patience for habits, and even something like the bullet journal, which fascinated me and my unruly creative mind, was unable to sway me. This time is different.
This time, it’s Allegra 2.0 giving it a go. This new version of myself is someone I’ve been striving to become for far too long; it’s exhausting to think about. But, I’ve realized I can become her. I am her. I just have to let her out.
As I write this, I am sitting on a 100-day streak in German in Duolingo. Look, I have proof! Right there, to the left! That’s not something I could have done “before.” I’ve been using it as a bit of a test – to see whether or not it’s actually possible. With each passing day, adding on to my streak, I realize that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Learning German is fueling my need to learn, and using my bullet journal is feeding my desire for some semblance of… I don’t know… structure. Normalcy. Regularity.
The importance of this achievement for my quest to become Allegra 2.0 is ever growing. It’s a reminder, an inspiration. I’ve created a habit within myself – a place where no habit has ever dared to venture before. I’ve stuck to my guns for 100 days! So, why not more? Why not with other things? If I can do this, I can do anything.
I started my bullet journal on September 1st. Back to Hogwarts Day. The first day of a new month. The first day of a month that reminds me of Fall. A good day. This was the perfect time to start; a new season to look forward to, the turning over of a new leaf. The act of journaling has made even a “normal” day something to celebrate and/or learn from. It adds depth to my weeks, helps me to visualize my accomplishments. There’s something about filling in this habit tracker (that may, in coming months, grow to fill the page):
I know. I’m still kicking myself about that u in “work out.” And the fact that there aren’t many boxes filled in for that column (yes – it’s a column. It goes down my page rather than across). Perfection is something to strive for, but respect. It’s rarely possible, but striving for it makes us better versions of ourselves. There are things I have direct control over: working out, blogging, learning German. You can tell I have a ways to go on some of those things. *whistles innocently* Then there’s the LWI sale column, which I have indirect control over. Letters With Impact is my typewriter Etsy shop – and I can only pursue growth there through getting the word out. Marketing. Social media-ing. Blogging about it. *wink*
Part of the reason I wanted to start a bullet journal in the first place was a need for self-care. It’s cathartic to see your accomplishments laid out on paper, to have to think back on all you did in a day and document it. There’s beauty in planning, too – I’ve started with a very basic month view, a simple list from 1 to 30 sprinkled with important happenings. It gives a bird’s eye view to a period of time. This can be very difficult for me to achieve in any other sense. Even laying it out on a computer screen doesn’t have quite the same effect for my creative brain.
My mind is a messy desk; piles of paper strewn across dark, imperfect wood with a cup of coffee threatening to cool. I’m standing in the doorway looking at that desk, ready to sit down and organize my thoughts, but I can’t bring myself to cross the room. My bullet journal allows for that journey. It’s the beginning of something new. Allegra 2.0.
