Sometimes I feel trapped by sameness. The same frustrations and pet peeves circle round and round in the same space, suffocating me.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s solace in the sameness. The comfort of the notion of home. But the truth is that home is not a place – it’s a feeling. Being surrounded by the ones you love. That strength in feeling safe, well-grounded.
Perhaps my desire to travel is linked to my boredom with the never-changing. It’s not so much that I find my life boring, but the very truth of having nowhere new to explore keeps my once-fluttering heart silent.
There’s a difference between same and familiar. My parents’ home – where I spent 90% of my childhood, and some of my post-college years – has changed to the point of crossing the line into the familiar rather than same. It’s more comfortable that way, seeing the ways the house has morphed from its years of life. It will always be home – but so will the home I have made with Sohrab, and our future residences.
We just returned from a quick overnight stay at the Disneyland Hotel for Sohrab’s birthday, another comforting space. It was a chance to get away from the same, moving into the familiar. A mere night away is sometimes enough to make home feel new again. A night without cats helps me to appreciate them as they crawl all over me in the middle of the night.
Part of the allure of traveling – even moving – abroad is the opportunity to start over. Gain new experiences. Learn about new cultures. Meet new people, make new friends.
I say all of this as a homeowner. Sohrab and I have set our roots into the dirt of Los Angeles, planted our feet firmly in this American culture, looking out at the world from our stoop. Los Angeles will never stop being home – but there comes a point where you have to take a step off that stair and walk down the street. Around the block. To the airport. Away into the world.
I have my preconceived notions about what “the rest of the world” is like. I have my daydreams, my expectations. I harbor a small amount of fear that actually experiencing it will change my opinions, but then again, isn’t that the point? I would much rather visit a place I’ve been pining for than merely dream about it, no matter how it changes my outlook. In fact, I fully expect travel to change me as a person, impact my world view, and give me a better perspective. I have been to Mexico, I have lived in Hawai’i. I grew up in Los Angeles and I have visited several states.
That’s it.
That’s not much for a 26 year old who yearns to learn a new language at every turn, walk new streets and experience new cultures everywhere I go. I know these streets. I know this language. I can take this life experience with me as I venture, packing little more than my open mind. To quote J.M. Barrie:
To live will be an awfully big adventure.
I’m ready to go.
